Do *you* want it?

When working on a dog with behavioral problems, you have to really want them to improve.

You have to want it enough to put other parts of life in the back seat for a long while. And for people with families or other commitments, dealing with a dog that has multiple or severe behavioral issues, pushing their kids or their career to the side, not prioritizing sick family members or perhaps their own mental health problems, can make things feel impossible. Maybe it actually is impossible.

Perhaps “want” is the wrong word. We can all want things. I want to get fitter, but that won’t stop me from inhaling an entire share packet of maltesers. Just wanting our dogs to get better isn’t going to get them there. But taking actionable steps will help.

If your dog’s behavioral problems don’t bother you as much as you think they should bother you, you won’t take those actionable steps. I’ve had this conversation with a few students over the years:

Me: “To help teach a recall you have to put your dog on a long line so they can’t practice running away”

Student: “Okay”

*1 week later*

Student: “He ran away again”

Me: “Did you use the long line?”

Student: “No”

This isn’t just about recall, it can be managing barking out the window, loose lead walking, reactivity, chasing joggers etc. The idea of wanting the finished result is there, but the motivation to actually take the steps to achieve it isn’t. It’s okay, I get that, as I’ve said I also struggle with desires verses motivation to actually take actionable steps.

Sometimes it’s just that it’s easier to not put the work in, sometimes it’s because people can’t stand the idea of short-term management equaling long-term freedoms as it’s hard to look that far into the future, and sometimes it’s that life keeps throwing curve balls and dog training is less of a priority.

When it’s just teaching recall, nine times out of ten it’s relatively simple to work on. But when faced with a dog that is reactive to humans and other dogs, resource guards, has separation anxiety, perhaps has medical issues alongside as well as a pile of other behavioral and training issues, the long term goal may seem so far away. You may train your dog every day for weeks or even months and see little change. (Although often more change is occurring than is visible to the owners, just as parents don’t see the same changes in their children’s heights until they reach a landmark- when you’re in the situation you don’t see the little improvements)

And what’s the point in putting your life on hold, spending less time with your kids, not going on holiday etc if it feels like the work you’re doing with your dog is for nothing?

I get it. Some people, like myself, are lucky that they can prioritize their dog’s behavioral modification and training program. I don’t have kids to care for, I don’t have a job where my dogs have to stay at home all day. And I also really want to see improvements in my reactive dog, with the understanding that it’s a long journey and not a quick fix, and there may be months of seeing next to no progress at all.

If this isn’t for you, the uncertainty of “when will I see improvement?” or “will I ever see improvement?” If your dog’s behavior doesn’t affect you as much as you think it should, maybe you don’t mind them going missing for twenty minutes on walks, maybe letting them pull isn’t as much work as putting the training in to teach them not to, so you’re not really too fussed about it, it’s not ideal but you’re probably not at the right point to do training. The dog might be, but if you’re not able to commit or prioritize it, that is okay, but don’t waste your time or money booking onto classes or courses thinking that things will get better just because a trainer is coming once a week to do the work for you. Things won’t get better unless the advice given is put into practice.

I tell my students “things can definitely get better if you put the work in”. And that’s exactly what I mean, unless there’s something medical going on with the dog, things can definitely improve. But you have to be honest with yourself and ask whether you are going to, or whether you’re actually capable of, putting in the work. And if the answer is no, if life is too hard, that is okay and there is no judgement from me, but then some tough but necessary decisions need to be made as to whether you are able to fulfill your dog’s needs.

Dog trainers and behaviorists don’t just turn up once a week, train your dog and then after a few sessions the dog is fixed. You need to be on board, you need to work between the sessions and maintain the training after the sessions finish in order to see the best results. Things can get better, but you have to put the work in.

(I understand that situations change, and I don’t want to shame people who have a lot on their plate. Sometimes we can’t train every day, sometimes life gets in the way, but this is where management will come into play so that you can prevent things getting worse. There is also no shame in saying “I am unable to cope with this dog” and finding another solution for their welfare and your own. If you are struggling to follow a training plan, please speak to your trainer and they should be able to guide you)