I tell my dogs "no"

I tell my dogs “no”

I say “no” when Willow comes out the house and goes to sniff (probably with the intention of eating) the fresh cat poos in my front garden.

I say “no” when Bramble takes the wrong piece of equipment in agility competitions.

I say “no” if Tulip barks in the garden.

But Willow still sniffs the cat poo, Bramble still takes the wrong jump and Tulip still barks.

No. Doesn’t. Work.*

I’m human, and the word “no” often just slips out. I don’t want to say it, and often I am able to redirect the behavior and teach my girls alternate, desired behaviors. Often “no” occurs when I’m flustered or not in the best mindset for teaching. That’s getting in my car for work in the mornings, when Willow sniffs the poo, where I don’t have time to do some training. That’s when I’m up to my eyeballs in adrenaline and totally out of breath mid-way through an agility run. That’s in the evenings, when there are foxes in the garden for Tulip to bark at, but it’s dark and late and I can’t really be bothered to go out there to work on the issue.

Saying “no” is a totally pointless exercise, because the behaviors continue to occur. Counterproductively, the dogs just get the impression you’re mad at them, and because of this they’re less likely to want to engage with you.

I find this with clients, too. I ask them to stop saying “no” to their dogs, and they often (understandably) ask how their dog is going to know they’re doing something wrong. I then ask them how long they’ve been saying “no” to their dogs, and it’s often a long time. There’s your answer. If it’s not stopped a behavior, it isn’t working.

And I get it, I’m a hypocrite because I said I also do this. You’ve got me. But in these repeat offending situations that we find ourself slipping into bad habits, it’s important we set our dogs (and by proxy, ourselves) up for success. Willow sniffs poo, so I’ll clip a lead on her for the walk to the car. Bramble messes up a jump, so we will practice that sequence at home in the hope that she’s more prepared next time. Tulip barks at night, so she doesn’t get to go out past a certain time. Easy solutions that don’t lead to frustration.

Instead of reverting to “no” for every problem, try showing your dog what to do, instead. Focus on all the times they are doing something good. Instead of saying “no” when they pull, reward when they don’t. Instead of saying “no” when they jump up, give them a fuss for having all four feet on the ground.

No. Doesn’t. Work. And here’s the asterisk:

*If doesn’t work in the way you want it to. I’m sure we all had that one teacher at school who totally hated kids and had no business working with them. The one that would straight-up mock kids for getting a question wrong. Eventually, everyone stopped putting their hands up to answer questions, even when they were certain they had the correct answer, in the fear that they’d be punished for it.

This is what we do to our dogs when we say “no” “no” “no” to them. They become afraid to try anything, even the most basic behaviors, around you in the fear of being told off. You’re not just stopping the unwanted behavior, you’re shutting your dog down completely. A dog that is afraid to simply exist isn’t well-trained, it’s living in chronic fear, with the person punishing them, the person they should trust most in the world, being the untrustworthy and scary.

Yeah, I tell my dogs “no”. I absolutely suck for doing that. I’m not proud of it, and am working every day to teach myself to be a better human for my dogs. We’ve all got to do better.